I’m Not Superman

The nubbins of a eureka came to me the other day.  It was a friendly little nubbins – had a nice smile, an inviting smile but was as elusive as nubbins are want to be.  So here’s the gist of my moment.

The day had been totally convoluted.  Not a thing happened as I planned or anticipated.  Every moment was on the fly, and none of them were totally satisfying in the sense that I had reached any sort of equilibrium.

So out of this I heard myself cry, “I’m tired of trying to be Superman. I’m not Superman! I cannot solve the world’s problems.  I have enough trouble dealing with my own problems.”

It was then that the cute little nubbins made its appearance.  It smiled at my dilemma and held a mirror up so I could see what I was saying to myself.

The problem lies with the use of the word “problem.”  Too trequently we look at life as a series of problems needing solutions.  So we switch into a problem solving mode in which we try to find a way to fix some situation so it can disappear, and we can move on to the next item, the next problem on the “to be fixed” list.  God forbid that the solutions don’t come fast enough before the next situation comes to the front or that the fixes elude us altogether and another problem arises and another, and soon, very soon for some, we have complete meltdown.

At meltdown, we forget, we ignore, we deny the existence of “problems.”  By not focusing on situations as problems, the problems cease to exist.  That isn’t to say that the situation ceased to exist, but simply that our view of a situation as a problem ceased.  When we drop that label, it’s no longer a problem.

The word “problem” connotes a situation that causes dis-harmony in a person’s state of being.  As such, it is a negative and when encountered, we shift into Superman mode to right all wrongs, to fix the world.

If nothing is ever viewed as a problem, if it is simply a situation that exists and if we don’t claim ownership of the situation, but just deal with it with our given set of skills, then we can relieve the frustration we feel from the world being out of control, and we no longer have to be Superman to fix the world.

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One Man’s Search for Meaning

Today I write with the official status of 2018 Nanowrimo Dropout. Yes, I know. There are five days left in the month, and I only have about 16,000 words to get to 50,000. I could make it – if I want to write garbage, and at some points in my life that would have been OK. But not this year. Somewhere around 25,000 words, they stopped making sense. I thought I had a good idea at the beginning, introduced some relatively interesting characters, put them in some unusual situations and let them go. Things went well for quite some time, and then slowly it all ceased to be interesting and I found myself streaming words just to get my daily word count.

I think I’m at a point in my life where getting a word count just doesn’t count. I think at 73, I need to make sure that what I do has some meaning, makes sense. So, starting today, I resolve that except for morning pages that are meant to be cobweb clearing, I am going to write for meaning. I am going to search for clarity, new ideas, things I haven’t seen or thought before. I am going to attempt to write with a consciousness that adds a bit of significance to my life. If anyone else reads what I write and finds it of interest, that’s OK. But, if not, then that’s OK, too. I can live with that, but I can’t live with producing garbage when my mind is still capable of channeling meaning.

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Another Transition

I write again. Actually, that is misleading. I’ve been writing. Every day. I write again in this blog is an accurate statement. I found a couple of years ago that writing here helped me through the transition of moving to Alaska. Now I seek the same help as I face the transition of moving away.

My wife has been asked and has accepted the opportunity to make a career change that requires a move to Florida. It is a dream job and when the numbers are all laid on the table, it is a job that would only foolishly be rejected. I know that, and I support that. However, it doesn’t make the move any easier.

I’ve found in Alaska a spirit that speaks directly to me. It speaks from the mountains, from the trees, from the crisp, clean air. As I go on my nearly daily walk, it is not so much that I walk upon the land as it is that the environment draws me into it, beckoning me with a spiritual voice bigger than I’ve ever encountered. In two short years, I have discovered a home here, as much of a home as I ever had in Iowa, even after more than 65 years.

And yet I’m going to leave. I am going to let it go. I’m going to embrace the possibilities that this move has for me. When I consult my Oracle cards, they continually lead me to remember and honor what has led me to this point in my life, but to let it go, and let the spirit guide me forward into a new manifestation, an exciting, ever expanding universe where I may one day reach my full potential.

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A Beautiful Early Spring Hike . . .

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Joined by a pair of swans!

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Spring Break!

Springtime beauty in San Diego!

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Chena Ice Bar

An Appletinii at the Chena Ice Bar!  Does it get any better than this>

An Appletini at the Chena Ice Bar! Does it get any better than this?

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Just Curious

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