Shades of Grey

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The Alaskan winter reminds me daily that life is all about shades of grey.  It is a gradient world never reaching absolute white or absolute black.  There are infinite variations capable of melting massive mountains into clouds and hiding all sharp edges behind soft mounds of snow.

I like the subtle variations of this world; it feels like living in a gentle Japanese painting.  I especially like the lack of absolutes.  There are so many more possibilities within the shades of grey than if I were limited to black and white.  The world becomes a richer place, and I get to share in that wealth.

All this is great, of course, unless I’m on a shopping trip, and I HAVE to buy something, and I feel I HAVE to be happy with my choice for the next four years at least.  Then having too many shades of grey makes the decision very difficult and I might yearn for black and white to make the decision easy.

However, I’m personally very happy with my shades of grey.  At any given moment, I have the joy of every point on the spectrum.  My life is full, and I never feel the need to exclude anything or anyone.  The Alaskan winter suits me, I think.  I can prosper in this place, and when I have to go shopping, I can be happy with whatever I get, because nothing lasts forever, and it can always be replaced.

 

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Alaska Daylight

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Sun taken at 2:00 pm on Nov. 27, looking across Turnagain Arm near Girdwood, AK.

 

Before my wife and I made a final decision to move to Alaska, we visited for 10 days last Christmas, to check out the lack of sunlight we had heard so much about.  Actually, we came to be with family, but a secondary goal was to find out if the lack of sunlight was as negative as many people like to think.

People in the lower 48 frequently say they couldn’t live in Alaska and be dark all winter.  There is talk of vitamin D deficiency, light deprivation leading to depression, and so forth.  So many notions of Alaska winters are negative.

Granted we live in the Anchorage area and not up north where they are indeed in 24 hours of darkness.  Therefore we really don’t know what that world is like either.  But speaking for our present environment, I would hold that the degree of suffering due to reduced daylight is minimal.

The most serious side effect I’ve experienced so far is that I get more sleep.  I find that the mid afternoon darkness starts my feeling that it must be dinner time, and by 8:30 or so, I’m ready for bed.  This really isn’t such a bad arrangement, because on most days I’m able to be outside while the sun is up.  If I were stuck in an interior space where I didn’t get to see the sun during the day, I might feel differently about it. But even in the Midwest, there were many days when I went to work in the dark and came home in the dark.

On bright sunny days, driving can be problematic if heading in a southerly direction because the sun is always low in the sky.  But, as you drive, there are frequently mountains to block that direct sun in the eyes problem.  Not too big an issue, for the most part.

Like many experiences in Alaska, light and darkness is just another of the extremes.  The more northerly the latitude, the more dynamic are the day to day changes.  And the really wonderful part of that reality is that in just a few short days, the phenomena of little light will reverse, and soon the land of midnight sun will again be present.

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Life Goes On . . .

November has come and gone and with it, this year’s Nanowrimo.  For the past month it’s been a mindful daily activity to sit down and put words on paper.  For me this year, it was a successful activity in the sense that I met my goal of at least 50,000 words during the month.  Actually made over 55,000 this year.

For this accomplishment, I received a badge and a silly printable paper certificate that declares me to be a WINNER.

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I like my little badge and I did in fact print my certificate.  Sounds silly, and maybe it is, but it also means that this year I was able to stick to it.  I was able to develop a story and characters and give them some life.  Daily I entered their lives, or they entered mine, and we communicated and I told their story on paper.

I kind of like the story that came out of that relationship.  In fact, this morning, in the wake of Nano, life goes on, mine and theirs.  I found myself once more at the keyboard waking my characters and peering into their lives to see what they are up to today.  I guess the novel that they are part of isn’t finished.  Funny, reaching 50,000 isn’t really the end of the story.

Life goes on – everyday.  For you, for me and for my life as a writer.  Life goes on.  Thank you Nano for being a part of this life.

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Artists and Craftsmen – I applaud you!

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The holiday season is the  perfect time to get hundreds of artists and craftsmen together to show their wares.  For those of us who want to give a few special gifts that are not cookie cutter items from a some chain commercial establishment, it’s awesome to get so many choices.  But that is also a problem for these events.  I always feel overwhelmed; there are so many things to look at, so many choices to make.

We went to such an event yesterday.  The quality of the goods was amazing.  Every medium was represented, from fiber to steel, from food to soap and candles and musical instruments.  This was truly an incredible display of talent and execution.

Having occasionally dabbled in various art forms over the years, I have some notion of the numbers of hours that each artist spends preparing for such a display. And knowing that, I always am a bit dismayed that I am not able to give each the accolades they deserve.

I try to ooh and aah at appropriate times.  I smile and nod.  I mumble, “nice work, I like that” so the vendor has some feedback that someone likes what they  have done.  And yet, I can’t do what they all want.  I can’t spend enough money to please them all.  And that is truly why they have gathered.  Of course there is satisfaction in hearing that someone likes your work, but the real payback for doing this art show thing is that someone likes it enough to spend some money to own it.

I’m sorry, but I don’t have enough money to even buy the things I truly love.  The capital just isn’t there.  And so I walk by your booths, quickly some times, avoiding eye contact, don’t want to get your hopes up.  Sorry!

Yet I’m glad you’re there!  I love seeing such skill and talent expressed!  And I love the tenacity you display by being there!  Artists and craftsman, I applaud you!  You are the heart of the human spirit!

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Nano – Practice in Humility

Participating in Nanowrimo is a month long practice in humility.  In order to write 50,000 words in the month, it is necessary to average 1,667 words per day.  I’ve been doing fairly well, and each night I go to bed knowing I’m right on track.

Then morning comes, and I refresh my Nano dashboard, and the wind is taken out of my sails.  I have written zero words for the day, my average is down, my graph shows me below the line that indicates I’ll finish by the end of the month.  At the present rate, I’ll finish on December 3.  I am humbled.

Obviously that’s not acceptable, so I’ll push ahead once again.  And maybe that is the real function of humility, that one must never rest on one’s laurels, that life moves on, and one must move with it or get left behind.  Thank you, Nano!

 

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Change Direction – Stay Fresh – Keep Going

Such Unreserved Joy

Such Unreserved Joy

I’m taking a break from Nano this morning, changing my routine.  I’ve written over 17,000 words during the first ten days of Nano, but my story has reached one of those points where I’m just not happy with the direction or how the characters are interacting.  It’s just not going anywhere that I can see or feel good about.

I was looking through my photo file, just to see if any images would help give me direction and I ran across the picture above of my grandson.  What a joyful expression he bears!

That fresh look, that excitement about just being alive, that’s what it’s all about.  I think maybe my story for Nano suffered this week from the election hype and result, and my substituting at the local high school for two days.  I think maybe we get caught up in the “stuff” of everyday life and forget to enjoy.  We forget that we too, just like Hugh above, once wore a naked joy for being alive.

I think when we find our “stories” stagnating,  when we find we aren’t happy with the direction we are heading, we need to pause and remember a state of unreserved joy.  Then we just have to start again with fresh eyes and a great big smile.  To quote another grandson of mine, “It’s going to be OK, bunny!”

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By the numbers

Today it’s all numbers:

Sunrise – 9:32

Temp – 21

Humidity – 80

Nano word count – 5380

Go Cubs!

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