Today I write with the official status of 2018 Nanowrimo Dropout. Yes, I know. There are five days left in the month, and I only have about 16,000 words to get to 50,000. I could make it – if I want to write garbage, and at some points in my life that would have been OK. But not this year. Somewhere around 25,000 words, they stopped making sense. I thought I had a good idea at the beginning, introduced some relatively interesting characters, put them in some unusual situations and let them go. Things went well for quite some time, and then slowly it all ceased to be interesting and I found myself streaming words just to get my daily word count.
I think I’m at a point in my life where getting a word count just doesn’t count. I think at 73, I need to make sure that what I do has some meaning, makes sense. So, starting today, I resolve that except for morning pages that are meant to be cobweb clearing, I am going to write for meaning. I am going to search for clarity, new ideas, things I haven’t seen or thought before. I am going to attempt to write with a consciousness that adds a bit of significance to my life. If anyone else reads what I write and finds it of interest, that’s OK. But, if not, then that’s OK, too. I can live with that, but I can’t live with producing garbage when my mind is still capable of channeling meaning.