observation

How Quickly We Quaver

It was only last week that I posted a resolve to “begin anew,” to put myself out there, to express my thoughts whatever their worth. And already this morning, I sat at the keyboard, fingers hovering tentatively over the keys, talking myself out of saying anything.

Self talk can be so very debilitative.

What am I going to say? Who cares anyway? What if I say it poorly? What if they make fun of me? No one will read it, so why should I try?

Wow! For a very long minute, I almost got up and walked away. Actually, I did get up and go for a walk. And I listened to some more of RAGE by Bob Woodward while I walked. And I understood why I needed to force myself to put my butt in the chair and move my fingers. I remembered that I do this because it’s what I do. I have thoughts as important to me as anyone’s thoughts are important to them. I attempt to write those thoughts for clarification, for my self, so I can see them externally as well as feeling them internally.

I put them out there, in this form, as a commitment to myself. It’s a declaration that this is what I think. For better, for worse — it doesn’t matter. I think, and it’s important that you know I think, whether you agree or disagree. I think in our time, in this country, in this world, it’s important that each of us says what we think. We need to let our leaders know we are thinkers, we are feelers, we are doers. We are not just followers. We must stand up and think, say, and do what is in our hearts, for the survival of all of humanity.

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